She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
