I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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