But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
