butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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