my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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