dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
