Already got asked if we're dating
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
