Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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