these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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