I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
