Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
