He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So vagazzling was a success
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
