omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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