If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Green mimosas i think yes
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
