I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize