I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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