why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We left an ass print on the piano.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
