Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
