bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
