Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
