can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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