dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
