i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
