it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
