Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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