all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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