when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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