i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
