i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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