yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
