I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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