You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
