oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
