jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
