your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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