I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize