well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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