I'm really into asian looking animals
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
