I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize