So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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