Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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