Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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