well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm too high and old for this...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
