my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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