Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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