He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
