Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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