I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
third nipple confirmed
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
