that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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