You really coming over, don't trick.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
