Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
