Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
