He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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