yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
