dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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