D3 body, D1 cock
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
