we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
