He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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