I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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