There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
