She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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