girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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