Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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