eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
