I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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