question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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