I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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