ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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