I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
