alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
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how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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